Help! I think I might be Peniaphobic!

I realized recently above all phobias a person could have, I was always afraid of been broke. Thinking about it now scares me to. Days ago, I had a conversation with my mom about money. She thinks I am an impulsive spender, so I had to come clean about how I often feel sick when I am getting broke, or the worse flat broke. My BP rises and because of the fear, I work hard to never put myself in such situations. (This might be an inside joke for people who might experience some level of poverty or Children born of African Parents)You know that moment in your life when you leave your meat or fish to the last even as an adult because you think there’s an invisible cane waiting for you somewhere if you eat it during your meal. That’s how I feel about being broke. After all this ‘Money anonymous’ moment I had with mom. All she could mutter was: ‘Tolu, it’s like you are Peniaphobic and it’s not from my DNA.’

Penia WHAT!

I have always dreamt of traveling, attending live concerts, exploring cultures- my Nigerian people would say I love to chop life. Yes, I do but it also scares me especially when the notifications from the debit alert are almost unending.

But when I pause to take a look at the financial progress I’ve made in the past years, I know the fear is nonsense. but still, I fear to be broke.

When I look at my spending habits I know I am not doing bad but could be better. I spend money but I am just a calculative spender-hence I know I don’t spend on impulse.

Albeit, the fears has helped me to say good riddance to “some” black tax (some because the black tax is almost inevitable)

It’s not the kind of fear that keeps me up at night rather, it’s the kind that checks my spending per second.

I know for sure that this fear has been a nudge to some of the financial decisions I have made and still make but it still does freak me out.

Seems like a silly question to ask but do you ever fear losing money and becoming broke?